Poem: Terms & Conditions

I’ll be your disclaimer, baby.
I’ll show you what to do
I’ll tell you how to do it.
Don’t you worry about nothin’
I’ve got you covered,
It’s all here in the small print
No, no, sssshhh,
you don’t need to look at that.
I don’t want you worrying
your pretty little head,
or any other part of you for that matter.
Don’t worry about nothin’.
Nothin’. Just click here.
Yeah, right there.
That’s it.

***

I’m your disclaimer, babe,
but you really need to pay more attention.
I have told you this before,
and I really don’t want you to worry,
but we’ve been over this
several times.
No, no, look, it’s fine,
you don’t need to do anything,
and it’s nothing to worry about,
but just get it into that head of yours,
like through that thick old skull!
We can’t keep going over stuff
that we’ve been through before.
Is that OK?
Great.

***

Please refer to the disclaimer
that was issued previously.
In section 2.1, in the third paragraph,
you’ll note the section
relating to the terms and conditions.
Please read this, again.
Given the specifics of our terms
please accept this as confirmation
of the termination
of our agreement together.
I’d remind you that you are liable
for the costs associated with this.
All of the costs, yes, all of them.
You checked the check box, didn’t you,
at the bottom of the disclaimer?

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